tug of war

Release: To set free from confinement, restraint, or bondage

Oh the sweet feeling of release. When you are finally able to push the heavy dresser to the right place in the living room. When you pull the splinter out of your finger. When you finish a big project. A first kiss. Letting go of the rope during tug of war.

That let go, although it feels so good in the end, seems to be the thing we are most afraid of. Why do we fear it so much? I have a sinking feeling its because on the other side of that release is our inevitable pain. When we push through and let go we are left with burn marks on our hands and a slight sigh of defeat. The harder we pull on that rope the harder we will fall. We are consumed with the fear of being alone on the ground with no one to lift us out of the muck and mire.

So we see a better route: We in our minute human minds want to believe we can have that control in the universal pull of humble depravity. Lets be real we always think we are playing tug of war alone. We never are. On the other side of that rope of tournament, desire, control, stability, greed, glutton, all things good to man, and even all things bad; is LOVE. But we cant seem to see that the joy and peace that comes from the lovingkindness of the Father is not a good enough pay off of being out of control. Or what we think to be control. So instead we play God. Imposing our own rules to help keep our reign enforced. Appearance is everything.

So maybe I am making a really broad analogy to Legalism that seems to keep going in circles, and you are considering yourself as not being a legalist. Your thinking this just relates to surrender. Its does. But why? Because you are a legalist. Anytime you think you can do things on your own or impose the boundries God has given you on others you take up the cloak of the father and decide you need to be ruler of your own life. Maybe your not a legalist, but come on you like ot play God. Alpha and Omega will always win that tug of war. Not because He is an evil dictator, but because of His great love for his children. The pressing question is will you give up your tight grip to fall face first into salvation and surrender? The path may be narrow, but it leads to eternity.

I myself can boast that I am a recovering legalist. I have struggled in my walk with God wanting perfection. For others as well as myself. I would condemn myself for all my wrong acts and completely excuse Gods grace from my life. God slowly has been loosening my grip on perfection and pointing my hands at the cross. Oh humility, a horrible, beautiful gift. As I see more of my faults I am able to glorify Him more. His mercies are daily renewed for me, for all of us. This years has been a truly rough, in that I have never had so many body ailments in such a short gap of time. Although my body fails me, and I have no control in changing that, I can only hold fast to the almighty strength of my creator. Things don’t go according to my perfect plan, but they do go according to the Lords. How beautiful is it that I can be the most disgraceful, sinful, heartless women on the earth and God will still use me to bring Him glory. Not because of anything I have ever done, but because 2,000 years ago the child born in a manger got up on a cross and died for all my sins. That is the most releasing.

So here I am once again, holding up my white flag. I want things my way, I am going to stop. I am going to breath out my lack of understanding and allow the Lord to have my life, all of it, all the time. And when I take it back again, I am going to plead with the Lord to break me and humble me. Come join me in the dance of the redeemed. Stop getting upset because you are born a sinner, stop pushing for the job you want when the door hasn’t been opened, stop pursuing that relationship that is unhealthy just so you can fix it, stop feeling guilty for spending 5 dollars over your budget, stop making up rules, stop telling people how to live their lives and just cover them with love. We are all equally sinful, everybody, everyday, until are bodies are buried in the ground. We all make mistakes and we need to pray for change and we can try again next time. Such is life. So without abusing it, lavish in Gods grace. What do you have to loose? oh yeah the rope….

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