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2013

 I’ve seen many instagram posts and facebook status in the last few days about people’s experiences of the year 2013. Some had “The best year of their lives and cant wait to see what 2014 brings!!!” Others, “Had the worst year and cant wait to see change in 2014”.

 I seem to find my emotions swinging between two extremes, as always.

 First: Holy Hell this year was nuts! Like really nuts! I was sick for most of it. I went through financial crises, heartbreak, breakdowns, jobs loss, friend loss, moving 3 times, and lets not even begin to talk about my feelings in all this! I mean seriously, seriously I never want to relive any of those experiences. I don’t want to feel that lonely ever again. That broken ever again. That lost. That hopeless. Never ever, ever.

 Secondly: Holy Hell this year was nuts! I moved to a city I’ve now fallen in love with. I got the job I’ve dreamed of all of my short adult life and that I’ve worked so hard for. I have found a community that excites, challenges and loves me. I have a family that has proven their love for me through a rough season in my life and I have friends who will stand by me through anything. I overcame a disease that was seemingly taking over my life and I’m so much stronger because of it. I loved this last year in all its highs and lows.

 Honestly folks this year has been so hard, it really has. The amount of emotional and physical pain seemed like it would never let up. And although I don’t think if I had the choice I would desire to repeat this year, I am so abundantly blessed to have made it through.

 I know I write so often about God’s grace, and His blessings, and The Gospel, and His goodness. Guys I can’t stop. Because He doesn’t stop. He keeps loving me, and bestowing gifts on me although I haven’t personally done anything to earn them. He simply keeps giving to me because I’m His daughter. This breaks me! I am so self-righteous and I believe so often I have to do something in order to win His favor. Yet in the midst of all my brokenness this last year He keeps pouring out His never ending blessings. I can’t believe it!

 With all that I’ve received this last year, I can do nothing without a God who adores me enough to throw me into the fire and then walks into it with me, carrying with Him a hose and arms open wide! He never left my side all the nights I laid up crying. He always showed his love in tangible ways; whether it was money from the sky or a stranger with the advice I needed to get to the next step. He always came through despite how I failed.

 This next year holds so much promise, but I’m not promised tomorrow. If tonight is the last night I live, I will know that God had me here so the Gospel would be manifested in me. And that’s enough. My soul drinks up the knowledge that that’s enough. That He is enough. That He has refined me and made me enough. That death on the cross was enough.

 May we go forth in celebration of His coming! He has come, He has overcome, and He has gone before this next year. Walk in Him!

 “ ‘For ye shall not go out with haste’ As we go forth into the coming year, let it not be in the haste of impetuous, un-remembering delight, nor with the flight of impulsive thoughtlessness, but with the patient power of knowing that the God of Israel will go before us. Our yesterdays present irreparable things to us; it is true that we have lost opportunities, which will never return, but God can transform this destructive anxiety into a constructive thoughtlessness for the future. Let the past sleep, but let it sleep on the bosom of Christ.” – Oswald Chambers

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